Addressing Envelope Deviates From Traditional Mrs.

Dear Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee,

I am addressing envelopes for my wedding and my coworker dislikes being called Mrs. John Doe. But, isn't that the proper way to address the invitation? She feels her own first name should be used (Mrs. Jane Doe). Should I ignore proper etiquette and address the envelope for her differently?

Signed,

Dilemma

Dear Dilemma,

Although it is traditional to address wedding invitations to married couples as Mr. and Mrs. John Doe, it is not mandatory.

It is common and acceptable to see the envelope addressed, Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Doe. However, there is some dispute over the proper use of Mrs. when using a woman's first name. Some etiquette experts prefer Ms. be used with a woman's first name, i.e. Ms. Jane Doe instead of Mrs. Jane Doe.

Ms. would not be used with a woman's husband's name, i.e. Ms. John Doe is not proper.