Planning for a No Show Relative

Dear Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee,

My husband's sister makes plans with us, and then either never shows up or calls us after she should have been here to tell us that she has made other plans. We have confronted her about this but there has been no change. How do we stop her from doing this with out us ending up the bad guys?

Signed,

Stood up & fed up

Dear Stood up & fed up,

You have a couple of options:

1) As your sister-in-law is so unreliable, then when making plans, assume she will not show up. Make the plans that you want. If she becomes upset, gently let her know the reasons why, and point out the last several times that she didn't show up.

2) Have two plans ready, Plan A (when she shows up) and a Plan B (when she doesn't show). This is more work and hassle, but if you feel she must be included in every social gathering, then adjustments must be made.