Postponed or Canceled Wedding - Guest Puzzled

Dear Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee,

Three weeks before the wedding, I received a note which stated, "The marriage of John Doe and Jane Smith will not be taking place." Am I to assume that the wedding is canceled or postponed? If it is canceled or postponed indefinitely will I be getting back the wedding gift that I sent? Should I call and find out what's going on, or just wait?

Signed,

Puzzled

Dear Puzzled,

Because there wasn't a new date mentioned for the wedding, then you can assume that the wedding was canceled. For a canceled wedding, the wedding gifts should be returned. For a postponed wedding, the gifts are kept, assuming that the wedding will take place at a near future date.

The bride, groom, and their families are probably under a lot of stress right now, so just wait a few months. What they need and would appreciate is compassion and empathy.