Practical Jokes Not Funny

Dear Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee,

My wife and I have been married about a year and she is a wonderful caring person. But, she has a practical joker side, and therein lies the problem.

She plays little practical jokes on me, and I am never sure how to respond. I am a bit shy and reserved. I love my wife very much and feel that it must be me that needs to get over being so reserved and to try and be more spontaneous like her.

Signed,

Any suggestions?

Dear Any suggestions,

It's not uncommon for couples to have different views of humor. Your wife's humor is to play practical jokes on you. Perhaps the reason you don't know how to respond is that it appears that some of these jokes go a little too far. In other words, the joke was not really funny.

To do something physical to you when you are most vulnerable (sleeping) is rather mean spirited. Some of the other practical jokes can be viewed as demeaning. You think that you are the one who needs to change and become more like her because you love her so much and want to please her. But, your gut reaction reveals how the jokes really make you feel.

If her humor makes you uncomfortable, then you need to let her know. Tell her how you feel. Communication is very important in a relationship. If she thinks you just don't know how to have fun or do not have any humor, then nicely remind her that when a joke is at your expense, then it is not humorous and hurts you. A loving caring person will listen and change their behavior so as not to be hurtful.