Sick Friend More Important Than Girlfriend?

Dear Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee,

I have known my boyfriend for 10 years, and we have been dating off and on for a couple of years. One of his good friends is seriously ill and lives 8 hours away from here. My boyfriend decided to spend Thanksgiving with his sick friend. Well, I am hurt that he did not ask me to go. He left the day before Thanksgiving and came home a couple days after. I feel he could have spent the holiday with me and my family, then left the next day to visit his friend. What do you think?

Signed,

Hurt

Dear Hurt,

Try not to take your boyfriend’s going to visit his sick friend as a personal insult. When a good friend is very ill, it means more to spend a special holiday with them. It does not mean that the sick friend is more important than you.

While your boyfriend could have asked you to go with him, it sounds like the friend is really your boyfriend's good friend, and not yours, as you refer to him as "his good friend" and not "our" good friend.

You need to let your boyfriend know how you felt. But, do not accuse him of insulting you. Be nice about your feeling left out, and how you would have liked to have gone with him, or to have spent Thanksgiving with him. Talk to him. You both need to come to an understanding about spending time together.