Guest Etiquette Sleeping In Late

Dear Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee,

My girlfriend and I visit her mother on special occasions. Her mother lives roughly four hours drive away. I have a very friendly and personable relationship with her mother, and her mother has mentioned many times for us to feel comfortable in her house and relax when we visit.

I work quite hard and build up a sleep deficit during the week so that when we visit, I tend to sleep in on Saturday/Sunday mornings until 11am. My girlfriend has expressed her annoyance about this, but has never asked her mother about it and her mother has never said anything. Can you please elucidate the etiquette of being a guest in a close relation's home with regards to sleeping in? -Any advice would be most appreciated

Signed,

Any advice would be most appreciated

Dear Any advice would be most appreciated,

It would be best to ask your girlfriend's mother whether she prefers everyone to wake up at the same time. Do not preface this question with your need to sleep in because you are sleep deprived during the week, or her mother will not state her true feelings out of courtesy to you.

Generally, if sleeping in a bit does not upset the normal routine of the household, then there appears to be no harm. Is does not seem unreasonable to sleep in an extra hour after everyone else is up.

But, if sleeping in means everyone must be very quiet to accommodate you, or you are in a room where people need access, then you should adjust your schedule to the typical habits of the house.

If it turns out that you need to adjust your schedule to the house, then try taking a short nap in the afternoon to help catch up on your sleep.