Bridesmaids Are Usually 16 Years Or Older

Dear Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee,

My older sister is getting married and has decided that she doesn't want any of her 3 sisters to be bridesmaids, and instead just wants my daughter (age 4) to be the only bridesmaid. My sister's fiance is having his young stepdaughter up with him, so my sister thinks it would be "special" to have my daughter up with her. My other sisters and I are very hurt to not be bridesmaids in her wedding as we have all had each other as bridesmaids in each of our weddings. I am very religious and thought that there was spiritual meaning behind that position. Should I politely say that I am not comfortable putting my daughter in this position?

Signed,

Hurt

Dear Hurt,

Brides normally choose close friends or family members to be their bridesmaids. In addition, bridesmaids help the bride in planning and carrying out certain duties before and after the ceremony, so your daughter would not be appropriate as a bridesmaid. However, she can be a flower girl. Bridesmaids are usually 16 years of age or older, junior bridesmaids age 8 - 15, and flower girls age 4-8.

You need to sit down with your sister and tell her how hurt you and your sisters are at not being able to participate in her wedding. Remember, your sister is not obligated to have her sisters in the wedding. But, if you haven't talked to her about it, now is the time.